i am a little afraid of writing right now

probably because I really have to do it.

how would I describe the place where I swim

There are the big darknesses and then the little everyday darknesses and which do we want to confront here and now (Virgo) 

Time and lateness

Here I never needed to know what year it was. I never needed to know what week it was or what day it was. I didn’t need to think about those things. I didn’t have to count to a pressurized point in time. I could let it go, like language, like the way one works with language.

Temporarily full of Germans

Though women, speaking lightly, in a kind of sweet singsong. Japanese strawberry deflation travel. 

Birthday song

The last time I lived in New York was during (though at the tail end of) a brief window of the possible. It was exhausting. Now that the window—there should be a better word for it—has closed, and I, semi-returned, I am enjoying how people have relaxed their principles, left their stations, switched them up, to be expected, of myself as well. Maybe because of the neologism polyester, maybe because of the nuclear winter that a “performance velvet” creative unconscious is eeking out, live and colorless. There is no need for rigidity when there are no spatiotemporal values to be espoused, no cultural Calvinism to be flexed, and no canals. I am thinking about Mondrian’s father, with the originary double ‘a’ in his cap, so strict, so religious, so much a believer, and how he came around: to the theodicy of something quiet and private and elegant and else.

Rooting for diamond

Polishing rock

oliver beer

The thing about a fine china mind is that you have to be in bull's world
to know it is that way
to collect voices intoned in swallowed lantern chambers
to check a brake at boom word