capacity and void

Yesterday I went to David Zwirner to see the Richter show, which was full of dogs...Today I am thinking about...

Desire for connection is a funny pulsating thing that presumes void where one might generally hope to find capacity. In her classic treatise Gravity & Grace, Simone Weil writes:

We must not seek the void, for it would be tempting God if we counted on supernatural bread to fill it. We must not run away from it either.

The void is the supreme fullness, but man is not permitted to know it. What is permission to know? If knowing is determined by desiring awareness—the denial of permission to know is a voiding of that desire. 

Simone, a little bit earlier: We have to go down to the root of our desires in order to tear the energy from its object. That is where the desires are true in so far as they are energy. It is the object which is unreal. But there is an unspeakable wrench in the soul at the separation of a desire from its object.

If we go down into ourselves we find that we possess exactly what we desire.

Or, to extrapolate something I said to a friend recently, I feel freer now from many kinds of interactions where I was desiring something that was not there, that was unreal, and the desire was causing my soul to undergo a deep, miserable wrenching. Now, however, I can gingerly inhabit the supreme fullness of the void-conscious frequency, and I am so happy and grateful to be here that any connection that comes must be comfortable holding its own within this space, a space not of expecting supernatural magnetism, but of openness to and hunger for it. 

Such a hunger is not about "wanting" in lack but service in roominess, it is about making room for breath and for what might travel to me through it. Void-conscious experience creates a framework for new pulsations directed towards what on your frequency is unknown, as well as appreciation for who is there already.